High-Ranking Valentino Crime Family Member Survives Brutal Attack by “Michael Myers” Imposters at Mount Gordo Lakehouse
By Reporters Basra, Jake & Trey
WHAT HAPPENED
What was supposed to be a quiet Saturday night at the Mount Gordo Lakehouse quickly turned into a violent scene when multiple masked men resembling the horror character “Michael Myers” attacked members of the Valentino Crime Family.
The suspects approached the group carrying a weapon and attacked Mixy Valentino, leaving him seriously injured. Witnesses say the attackers fled into the surrounding bushes before anyone could catch them.
Mixy was later rushed to a nearby hospital, where doctors managed to save his life. The suspects remain unidentified.
MIXY VALENTINO’S STATEMENT
“Out of nowhere, these lunatics in masks and jumpsuits showed up right on our property with knives in their hands. At first, we thought it was some sick joke or Halloween prank, but before we could even react, I was on the ground bleeding. I’m lucky to be alive, but whoever was behind that mask, and whoever let them onto our grounds, is going to answer for this.”
BASRA VALENTINO’S STATEMENT
“We saw multiple shadows moving around in the darkness, but before we could figure out what was going on, we heard Mixy scream. We ran straight towards him and found him with an axe lodged in his body. We saw the guys who stabbed him running off and tried chasing him, but they disappeared into the bushes before we could catch up. We couldn’t just leave Mixy there, so we got him to a nearby hospital as quickly as we could. Thankfully, the doctors were able to save him. Whoever did this needs to be found, because nobody should have to go through something like that on what was supposed to be a peaceful night.”
